SLIDER

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Titanium



I read a quote that really inspired me the other day and I wanted to share it for a very specific reason.
Obviously it resonated with me.

The more you fight a feeling, the more it controls you. Don't resist it. Replace it.
~Rick Warren

I am the queen of this. Hiding. Building a wall and covering my ears and blindfolding my eyes, so
that I don't have to see or hear whatever it is that might hurt me or tempt me. I've said before how very
sensitive I am to what other people think of me. This is the reason I decided this past spring to take a long 
break from blogging. Everything I did was to gain the acceptance of others in some form or another.
Even when it came in the form of encouragement. It was sort of subconscious, though.

And I knew that I wanted my reasons for writing to go beyond me.

I even want it to go beyond you. I want it to penetrate peoples hearts with the trueness of Jesus.
Not religion, but Jesus.  And how could I do that if I'm always getting hurt and building walls and
letting it be about me?

The problem was I've closed my facebook and innumerable amount of times, I've stepped away 
from responsibilites because of fear & frustration. And mostly, I wanted to prove to myself  that I was stronger than these "feelings". The very smallest thing, such a texted "k" instead of an "ok" would
have tears brimming in my eyeballs.

I thought avoiding everything and everyone that could possibly hurt me or tempt me or disrupt my peace
was the answer. I thought I could be titanium...just like the song.

It doesn't work. I know for a fact. I've tried too many times.
On my own...that's the problem.

 I don't really  want a cold heart towards others. I don't really   want a heart of steel.
I just wanted my heart to be broken for the right reasons. His reasons. Not mine.

Proverbs 4:23 says Above all else, guard your heart, because everything you do flows from it.

We aren't able to give life to others, if we are empty, or worse... full of fear or hurt or sin or or shame.
And I want HIS life to flow from me, because I'm so full of it. 
SO yes, I must guard it,
but also, isn't part of guarding it becoming strong? And isn't becoming strong  on our
own to no avail? It certainly has been that way in my life.
When we are weak, THEN he is strong through us. We replace those weaknesses with something better.
His strength.

This is where Rick Warren's quote comes in.  
 "The more you fight a feeling, the more it controls you. Don't resist it. Replace it."

We want to build our walls so we don't hurt. 
Resist those temptations so we don't sin. 
Shut ourselves down so we don't feel ashamed.
But what do we fill that empty space with then?
That space where sin and hurt and shame use to lie?

It needs to be replaced with the presence of Jesus. If we don't, in just a short time, we will be right back where we started. Been there, done that. Over and over. (oh, and over and over and over.)
Galatians 5:16 says "Walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."
Well, that's a nice obvious hint.

What does your flesh desire? To feel bitter, to feel self pity, to gossip, to be envious, to lust, to greed, to fear, to doubt, to worry? We all have something we battle.
 Fall before him, learn of his trueness, his intense passion for you...and that is where we rest.
We REST. It's simple. We don't build walls on our own. We don't avoid and resist on our own.
We simply rest in the fullness of him.

This is where I have been these past few months. Learning to let him fill me up in 
those spaces I feel empty and broken and ashamed.   Not putting up a wall to block or avoid it, 
but replacing it with Jesus. 
There is nothing on earth like it.







5 comments:

TicoTina said...

good stuff... ok ;)

Cody Doll said...

I love this. That is soooo very true. This is a great piece of humble pie for me. I have been doing the same, in my own way. Thanks for sharing.
Hope your doing alright. I worry and pray for you.

Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

This is a great post Julie!! I love everything about it and it is all so true. I have been known to build walls and easily be hurt by others and it takes a lot to get past that but, you are so right. God is our strength and he gives us the strength to do that! So many people love you girl, don't shut people out because of fear! Love you!

Kim Bastian said...

Well said

Bethany Stewart said...

You are fantastic, and equally fantastically creative, and your blog makes me smile :) I'm so glad to have found you!

bethanysblog19.blogspot.com

 
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